Today was an interesting day. Two major things happened today, church, and music practice. Music practice was a good time, as it always is, especially with Erin, Andymack, and the Cleric. Mack and I jammed out afterwards, and half wrote a song called 'Dancing Julia' (actually Andymack was basically in the midst of some crazy drum solo when i joined with some guitar and made up lyrics, but it was a start, and the song was about a girl who is a beautiful dancer, but has to work at McDonalds for $7.99)
Anyway, after that was done, I went to evening service at Braidwood and listened to a message on temptation and sin, (a continuation of the message from the morning on Genesis 3:1-12) and the Lord really spoke to me. Andy Bowes brought out the clear truth of God's word concerning temptation, and the reason we fall into sin so easily. The first thing Satan tries to do in temptation is make us doubt the Word of God, and the Goodness of God. Once he has done that sin is sure to follow, because when we begin to doubt what God says is true, we decide in our minds that what we desire, or wish, or hope, or think, is better than what God tells us. Remember that the heart is deceitful above all things. The old flesh is tearing at my mind to give into those temptations, because it hates God. Everyone out there who loves Jesus knows what I am talking about. That inner struggle of mind, right before the action of sin. That decision to run away, or to go ahead. Once again tonight I was reminded that the way to be strong in the face of temptation has nothing to do with my strength of will, or my intelligence, but my knowing God through the study of his word. You see folks I'm a fairly logical person, so the equation makes complete sense from all angles. It even has parallels to real life. If you want to have a deep relationship with someone you had better spend time with them, get to know them, and if you love that person, you will desire to do just that, and be pained when you can't do so. The same is true for our God. The way to know him is through his word. The question in my head and heart, the one I need to answer now, and the one I have been running from for so long is: Do I love Jesus? And if so, why don't I put forward the effort to get to know him by reading his word?
It's so simple. But in all honesty folks there are other things I would rather enjoy playing the harlot with before I run to my real husband, like my video games, or fantasy novels...
It's like that Derek Webb song 'wedding dress'. That one line is ringing in my ear: 'I am so easily satisfied, by the call of lovers less wild'.
For me its time to change, to get back to that consistency of reading God's word daily.
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3 comments:
Me too.
Thanks.
Definitely something I have been realizing lately.
Now let's all do it, and not just talk about it.
dancing julia, another song I want to hear!
This is a quote from Philpot that was forwarded to me today, hope you find it as meaningful as I did:
Are you not often a mystery to yourself? Warm one moment—cold the next! Abasing yourself one hour—exalting yourself the following! Loving the world, full of it, steeped up to your head in it today—crying, groaning, and sighing for a sweet manifestation of the love of God tomorrow! Brought down to nothingness, covered with shame and confusion, on your knees before you leave your room—filled with pride and self-importance before you have got down stairs! Despising the world, and willing to give it all up for one taste of the love of Jesus when in solitude—trying to grasp it with both hands when in business!
What a mystery are you! Touched by love—and stung with hatred! Possessing a little wisdom—and a great deal of folly! Earthly-minded—and yet having the affections in heaven! Pressing forward—and lagging behind! Full of sloth—and yet taking the kingdom with violence! And thus the Spirit, by a process which we may feel but cannot adequately describe—leads us into the mystery of the two natures perpetually struggling and striving against each other in the same bosom—so that one man cannot more differ from another, than the same man differs from himself.
But the mystery of the kingdom of heaven is this—that our carnal mind undergoes no alteration, but maintains a perpetual war with grace. And thus, the deeper we sink in self-abasement under a sense of our vileness, the higher we rise in a knowledge of Christ, and the blacker we are in our own view—the more lovely does Jesus appear.
Aunt Deb
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