9366 minutes

And I am excited. Truly anticipatorily excited.

Closing in on Afraid...

11 days...

Steely Nerves

Yep that's right... 18 days to go.

Brothers to Battle

Honesty and courage go hand in hand. As a lover of Christ, I find the most difficult thing in life to do is communicate to another human being that I have not loved Jesus. It seems to be intesified if someone a) also knows Christ, and b) is in an intimate relationship with me [ie family]. The perspective I desire to have is one which continually keeps my current situation before my thoughts at all times. That I have been rescued by the only means possible, from the worst problem possible, by the only person possible; and it is not myself. When I analyze my own sin, and truly sorrow over it, I am not very much inclined to comment judgementally on someone else's sin. But the trick is that a beginning step must be taken in order to start a process of honesty in a positive direction instead of a negative direction. If noone talks about personal sin, then noone will risk saying anything offensive (which is most of the Bible in the toilet), which completes and maintains a viscious cycle of assumptions, judgements, and failures, which can only be broken by Godly courage, which is born of a true desire to be holy, and shatters the trend by being the first one to say: 'I have a problem'. From here the entire trend (and the lifestyle of an entire people group in some cases) reverses like a coiled spring, so that people freely share eachother's burdens, refrain from judging, and teach eachother how God would have them live.

My little brother is probably the most courageous person I know, and I love him for it. I have no shame in declaring that his honesty is a reproof, and his attitude is refreshment of the soul.

Continue to fight brother, I am beside you.

Todd

Lyrics that pack a punch

Every Grain of Sand

Bob Dylan

In the time of my confession,
in the hour of my deepest need
When the pool of tears beneath my feet
flood every newborn seed
There's a dyin' voice within me
reaching out somewhere,
Toiling in the danger and in
the morals of despair.

Don't have the inclination to
look back on any mistake,
Like Cain,
I now behold this chain of events
that I must break.
In the fury of the moment
I can see the Master's hand
In every leaf that trembles,
in every grain of sand.

Oh, the flowers of indulgence
and the weeds of yesteryear,
Like criminals,
they have choked the breath
of conscience and good cheer.
The sun beat down upon the steps
of time to light the way
To ease the pain of idleness
and the memory of decay.

I gaze into the doorway of
temptation's angry flame
And every time I pass that way
I always hear my name.
Then onward in my journey
I come to understand
That every hair is numbered
like every grain of sand.

I have gone from rags to riches
in the sorrow of the night
In the violence of a summer's dream,
in the chill of a wintry light,
In the bitter dance of loneliness
fading into space,
In the broken mirror of innocence
on each forgotten face.

I hear the ancient footsteps like
the motion of the sea
Sometimes I turn, there's someone there,
other times it's only me.
I am hanging in the balance
*(of the reality of man)
Like every sparrow falling,
like every grain of sand.

*of a perfect finished plan (different version)

I don't know about anyone else, but these lyrics cause some serious neron movement in my gray matter. Like nerons running marathons trying to understand and compute and react to what Dylan is talking about. Its thick like chocolate milk, with all of the goodness. I love how it sounds rolling off of the tongue when I attempt to play it. It has that feel of a song which moves the soul to consider the words. It taunts you with interesting metaphors and quizzical comparisons. And the underlying base note is that constant reminder that God has authority over all things in life, and how for some it is a terribly unbelievable atrocity, and how for others it is the most marvelous and exciting truth.

"In the fury of the moment
I can see the Master's hand"

Such a contrasting image here. I get the picture of someone in a severe rage suddenly stop in their tracks to observe a butterfly peacefully lighted on a flower. Or that sudden realization in the middle of the act, that you are sinning against a holy God.

"Oh, the flowers of indulgence
and the weeds of yesteryear,
Like criminals,
they have choked the breath
of conscience and good cheer."

Indulgence dulls the conscience, and ironically enough, destroys joy.

"I am hanging in the balance of a perfect finished plan."

I love this line. Such a good reminder that all the work on our behalf is completed. The perfect plan is finished. Its done. Wow! Our job is the infinitely joyful task of telling people how good God is.

Peace,

Todd