New Lessons

The Lord teaches new lessons every day. This weekend went completely as God planned, and as I review it, I see his faithfulness painted across my moments of doubt, and his grace across my sin. Doubting my Lord has been a problem of late, but the Lord has taught me once again that he is not only trustworthy, but He is 'The trustworthy.' A small red elastic behind the ear should do as a reminder for that. The others i suppose are to deal with my unruly hair and performance with sword forms. (more on that in another blog)
On another note, I've been noticing more and more how friends are few and hard to come by. Distance grows with each passing day, and I speak and communicate with less and less people that I once did. I suppose a core group of people exists, but sometimes I wonder if that is diminishing. I think I have concluded that:

1) Friends must be cherished and one must work hard to keep those relationships going.
2) The Lord has reasons for moving people in and out of our lives, and it is not our job to become anxious over departure, or separation. Seasons come and go, we must embrace the new season, remembering fondly, not bitterly, those friendships we were bestowed with.

Based on this, I think I need to work at cultivating those relationships I am responsible with.
(and learn 'Courtier Taps His Fan')

Todd

Patience.

Today has been interesting. I have two things coming fast. Ottawa and Work, both of which I must attend, but neither can be done at the same time: They overlap... As it stands, there is only 1 person who can take the shift, and 3 days until the deadline. I am struggling to be confident that God will resolve the problem. Or perhaps it is my perceiving it as a problem that is making me anxious. Trusting the Lord with things you can't control should be easier than this... sigh. I need to be patient.

Another Mask To Burn...

Today I was out in a t-shirt, freezing but loving the closeness of spring. I was thinking about what it means to be sincere, in both thought and deed. I was reminded that I need to be very careful that the way I am presenting myself to people matches up with my heart condition. Its time to stop telling people I feel 'good' when I don't, or pass myself off as someone who has everything together. If I continue to do these things, I will start to believe they are true, creating an even greater problem than just deceiving my friends about my spiritual condition; I will deceive myself.

'I thought I could protect it better holding it in my hands, but I paid it so much attention it broke when I tripped over my own feet. So the heart goes back on the sleeve, where God protects it.'

Two Fountains

He saw, as it seemed to him,

Two fountains peculiar and alone.

From the eagles nest the eye

Is hard pressed to miss the beauty of one,

Enlightened by the glowing, uncobwebbed lanterns,

Swaying in an unusual night breeze.

From depths of earth flow forth the source,

Of mighty waters blasting from twelve base holes,

Whose reaching strains to touch ten circular basin,

Piled High into the sky, cup upon ever shrinking cup,

Falling short of the blighted peak.

Outside beautiful gates lies, in a grassy gnole,

A replica of city fountain built just as tall.

But beauty appears unmirrored, unfound among the shoots,

Save the summit, where water trickles forth.

The water too differs much, in quality,

For none but those who swear by the tower,

Know of the source of its single crested stream,

Which, though it waters the top, fails to reach below,

And cracks may be seen forming on the parched base.

Two fountains stood peculiar and alone,

And he chose the one spouting truth.

Girls...

The world is a strange and wonderful place.... And as I write, you guys out there are most likely curling up in your chairs, grinning like idiots at the insane topic about which I choose to blog. However I have come to some concludatory thoughts about girls.
2 things have prompted me in the last while: Rand Al'Thor, and Derek Webb. Those of you who know either know that Rand is always not understanding women, and Derek is a forthright lyrical genius concerning how he feels about them. Both sum up a lot of whats going on...

Love is Different (Derek Webb)
Well, it looks like five thousand miles broke the camel's back
But it's not as though I had a plan to win you back
Because I don't know what I want
But at least I know that much
Now I'm afraid love came right up
And it slapped me in the face, but I did not know

'Cause love is different than you'd think
It's never in a song or on a TV screen
And love is harder than a word
Said at the right time and everything's alright
Love is different than you think

So I won't expect a postcard from Trafalgar Square
But I'd be lying if I said I didn't care
Because you can't just turn it off
And put a blindfold on your heart
But I’m off to a good start
A continent away, but I do not know

But maybe you're the dream I’m waking from
'Cause I see you everywhere I go
Darlin' you are such a mystery to me, you know

So guys I have been brooding over an idea for quite some time. The whole idea of dating or waiting, the m-word, and God's sovereignty/timing. We need to stop looking at this issue as a java-induced child looks at a Jenga game, and start looking at the way Christ would have us treat any person. Its about character, and long-term, and all those big words that make my stomach churn because I'm lonely. You know what is exciting news? The longer we have to develop strong, godly character, the more intimate our future relationships will be. We should praise God that he has given us more time to prepare ourselves for a wife.
To that end, I have given up dating altogether. Firstly it seems to me to carry the same weight of a promise item (a lesson painfully learned) Secondly, godly friendships CAN be developed as they should without titles and built-in expectations. Promise items are liken to the idea of teasing someone about a good you have, and then giving no actual guarantee that the good will be delivered. Let your 'yes' be yes and your 'no' be no. Many are prepared to say that godly friendships will get to a point where a secondary step must be taken, before engagement, so as to make known to other people an 'officiality' of the relationship. (I do not mean to be harsh to any that have done this, I just believe there to be a better way) This seems to be done for one of two reasons that I have observed: To please the public eye or to please the private eye. In the public's eye people often seek status, or respect, and in the private eye the individuals involved in the relationship often seek identification, and solace. (This is not a complete list obviously :) All of these things can be found in God, for if one is in love with the Saviour, their status is found in him, they will not be swayed by the lack respect given them, furthermore they will find true identification and solace.

(at this point I will make one plug for dating, but please note that many people think they fall into this category when in fact they more than likely do not. It is this: There is a genuine commitment in the relationship which will not fail in manifesting itself in marriage, and both persons understand this, but believe it is best to wait a little while before making the engagement official)

Having said these things, I do not in any way condone dating relationships, but I believe I can get to know someone better by doing away with titles and inherent expectations involved in a 'dating relationship'. The craziest thing, and probably the scariest, will be the day of my proposal.

Trying to be a tortiose in an age of hares...

Todd.

Experiment B-12

Do you ever notice how people tend to follow one another around. Today I got on the bus at Trent University, which was jammed pack because it was nearing its major drop off area at the steps of Bata Library. I was the first person to get off the bus, and I wanted to try an experiment. You see i have noticed when I am thirteenth or fourteenth off the bus, and one person ahead of me thanks the driver, the rest tend to follow suit. I try to thank the driver regardless of who else has done so, but today I took note of what would happen when I, who was getting off first, thanked the driver. As I left the bus I heard the next 3-4 persons follow suit. I wonder if they do it out of sincere thanks, or simply because they do not wish to look ungrateful when someone else has just thanked the driver. In any case the point remains that people follow others, be it consciously or subconsciously. Over the next few weeks I hope to observe the patterns of leadership which evoke the most amount of people to follow. Leadership in a loose fitting sort of way, where someone could be leading at a strictly subconscious level. I hope to post results soon, so keep reading...

Concerning the Truths found in Tales

Did you ever notice how the old wives tales and fairy tales always have some underlying meaning, moral, or purpose beyond the telling? Take for example the story of the tortoise and the hare. These days folks would rather be the hare, convinced that they would not stop to gloat, or stop to drink tea, and what not. They have missed the point. For it is not the speed of either creature which makes the story profound, rather it is the attitude each creature adopts at the outset. The hare was unfocused and proud, a blazing cannon out of control. Shallow and contemptible, he misjudged both the appearance and the reality of both his opponent, and himself. He thought the tortoise was inferior based on outward appearance, and he thought he was superior by the same measure. What did the tortoise do? I would imagine him to be so focused on the goal, that he does not even notice his opponent. He casts no thought toward him, extends no effort or concentration, for all his concentration is used up in the race. For the tortoise the issue at stake was not merely winning the race, but finishing it. The methods each use to run their race is reflective of the attitude of their heart and mind. Like quicksilver the hare races off the start line, assuring himself of victory as he leaves the line. He does not pace himself, and he barely looks at the direction he is headed. So much confidence is built up in him based on his external appearance that he doesn't see his glaring fault. He is doomed to failure because of that which guides him. The tortoise on the other hand does not think of himself as high, instead he consistently waddles along, never waxing or waning, never slowing or speeding, and always conscious of his focus.
What manner of person are you. Is it in your heart to follow Christ with consistency, and is it planned in your mind. Have you decided that you will focus on Christ, and no other, that your ultimate purpose is to worship him? Or have you gone the way of the hare, and thought you were good enough on your own to reach God, like a loose cannon, useless from the beginning.
Some may be forward in suggesting that these things are too difficult, and that consistency in godliness is impossible, or too boring, or not rewarding. Look closely at your heart. Analyze yourself, for noone else, save God, can know who you really are. You are simply making excuses for the blasphemous way in which you live, or desire to live. Consistency does not demand perfection, but it does demand effort. If you are not willing to work hard to know Jesus, what use is it to you to try at all?
Finally, I am slowly beginning to realize how much my generation has failed in learning from the older ones. How blessed is it to look into eyes worn with age, whose hearts and minds are vibrantly consistent for our Lord. What an example one can take from them. Sadly many are too wrapped up in arguing with them concerning doctrine, music, and styles of worship. The next time you bump shoulders, shake hands, or share tea with the older generation, remember the years of knowledge in walking with the Lord they have, and pray to the Lord that you might grow to know Him in the same way that they do.

By the way, the tortoise will always beat the hare....